Why I Fired My Secretary?

Typical Man!

Why I fired my Secretary.

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that

morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and
say,
"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone " Happy
Birthday."

I thought...

Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat
despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning
Boss, and
by the way Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said,
"You
know, It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you
and
me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.
Let's
go !"

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a
beautiful
day... We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind ?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, " Boss,
if you
don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I'll be right back." "Ok." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out

carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers,
all
singing "Happy Birthday".


And I just sat there...


On the couch...



Naked.

100 KEYBOARD SHORTCUTS FOR WIN XP

CTRL+C (Copy)
CTRL+X (Cut)
CTRL+V (Paste)
CTRL+Z (Undo)
DELETE (Delete)
SHIFT+DELETE (Delete the selected item permanently without placing the item in the Recycle Bin)
CTRL while dragging an item (Copy the selected item)
CTRL+SHIFT while dragging an item (Create a shortcut to the selected item)
F2 key (Rename the selected item)
CTRL+RIGHT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next word)
CTRL+LEFT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous word)
CTRL+DOWN ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next paragraph)
CTRL+UP ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous paragraph)
CTRL+SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Highlight a block of text)
SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Select more than one item in a window or on the desktop, or select text in a document)
CTRL+A (Select all)
F3 key (Search for a file or a folder)
ALT+ENTER (View the properties for the selected item)
ALT+F4 (Close the active item, or quit the active program)
ALT+ENTER (Display the properties of the selected object)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Open the shortcut menu for the active window)
CTRL+F4 (Close the active document in programs that enable you to have multiple documents open simultaneously)
ALT+TAB (Switch between the open items)
ALT+ESC (Cycle through items in the order that they had been opened)
F6 key (Cycle through the screen elements in a window or on the desktop)
F4 key (Display the Address bar list in My Computer or Windows Explorer)
SHIFT+F10 (Display the shortcut menu for the selected item)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the System menu for the active window)
CTRL+ESC (Display the Start menu)
ALT+ Underlined letter in a menu name (Display the corresponding menu)
Underlined letter in a command name on an open menu (Perform the corresponding command)
F10 key (Activate the menu bar in the active program)
RIGHT ARROW (Open the next menu to the right, or open a submenu)
LEFT ARROW (Open the next menu to the left, or close a submenu)
F5 key (Update the active window)
BACKSPACE (View the folder one level up in My Computer or Windows Explorer)
ESC (Cancel the current task)
SHIFT when you insert a CD-ROM into the CD-ROM drive (Prevent the CD-ROM from automatically playing)

Dialog Box Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+TAB (Move forward through the tabs)
CTRL+SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the tabs)
TAB (Move forward through the options)
SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the options)
ALT+Underlined letter (Perform the corresponding command or select the corresponding option)
ENTER (Perform the command for the active option or button)
SPACEBAR (Select or clear the check box if the active option is a check box)
Arrow keys (Select a button if the active option is a group of option buttons)
F1 key (Display Help)
F4 key (Display the items in the active list)
BACKSPACE (Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in the Save As or Open dialog box)
MICROSOFT Natural Keyboard Shortcuts
Windows Logo (Display or hide the Start menu)
Windows Logo+BREAK (Display the System Properties dialog box)
Windows Logo+D (Display the desktop)
Windows Logo+M (Minimize all of the windows)
Windows Logo+SHIFT+M (Restore the minimized windows)
Windows Logo+E (Open My Computer)
Windows Logo+F (Search for a file or a folder)
CTRL+Windows Logo+F (Search for computers)
Windows Logo+F1 (Display Windows Help)
Windows Logo+ L (Lock the keyboard)
Windows Logo+R (Open the Run dialog box)
Windows Logo+U (Open Utility Manager)

Accessibility Keyboard Shortcuts
>Right SHIFT for eight seconds (Switch Filter Keys either on or off)
Left ALT+left SHIFT+PRINT SCREEN (Switch High Contrast either on or off)
Left ALT+left SHIFT+NUM LOCK (Switch the MouseKeys either on or off)
SHIFT five times (Switch the Sticky Keys either on or off)
NUM LOCK for five seconds (Switch the Toggle Keys either on or off)
Windows Logo +U (Open Utility Manager)
Windows Explorer Keyboard Shortcuts
END (Display the bottom of the active window)
HOME (Display the top of the active window)
NUM LOCK + Asterisk sign (*) (Display all of the subfolders that are under the selected folder)
NUM LOCK + Plus sign (+) (Display the contents of the selected folder)
NUM LOCK + Minus sign (-) (Collapse the selected folder)
LEFT ARROW (Collapse the current selection if it is expanded, or select the parent folder)
RIGHT ARROW (Display the current selection if it is collapsed, or select the first subfolder)

Shortcut Keys for Character Map
After you double-click a character on the grid of characters, you can move through the grid by using the keyboard shortcuts:
RIGHT ARROW (Move to the right or to the beginning of the next line)
LEFT ARROW (Move to the left or to the end of the previous line)
UP ARROW (Move up one row)
DOWN ARROW (Move down one row)
PAGE UP (Move up one screen at a time)
PAGE DOWN (Move down one screen at a time)
HOME (Move to the beginning of the line)
END (Move to the end of the line)
CTRL+HOME (Move to the first character)
CTRL+END (Move to the last character)
SPACEBAR (Switch between Enlarged and Normal mode when a character is selected)

m*cro$oft Management Console (MMC) Main Window Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+O (Open a saved console)
CTRL+N (Open a new console)
CTRL+S (Save the open console)
CTRL+M (Add or remove a console item)
CTRL+W (Open a new window)
F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the MMC window menu)
ALT+F4 (Close the console)
ALT+A (Display the Action menu)
ALT+V (Display the View menu)
ALT+F (Display the File menu)
ALT+O (Display the Favorites menu)

MMC Console Window Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+P (Print the current page or active pane)
ALT+Minus sign (-) (Display the window menu for the active console window)
SHIFT+F10 (Display the Action shortcut menu for the selected item)
F1 key (Open the Help topic, if any, for the selected item)
F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
CTRL+F10 (Maximize the active console window)
CTRL+F5 (Restore the active console window)
ALT+ENTER (Display the Properties dialog box, if any, for the selected item)
F2 key (Rename the selected item)
CTRL+F4 (Close the active console window. When a console has only one
console window, this shortcut closes the console)

Remote Desktop Connection Navigation
CTRL+ALT+END (Open the m*cro$oft Windows NT Security dialog box)
ALT+PAGE UP (Switch between programs from left to right)
ALT+PAGE DOWN (Switch between programs from right to left)
ALT+INSERT (Cycle through the programs in most recently used order)
ALT+HOME (Display the Start menu)
CTRL+ALT+BREAK (Switch the client computer between a window and a full screen)
ALT+DELETE (Display the Windows menu)
CTRL+ALT+Minus sign (-) (Place a snapshot of the active window in the client on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as pressing PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)
CTRL+ALT+Plus sign (+) (Place a snapshot of the entire client window area on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as pressing ALT+PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)

m*cro$oft Internet Explorer Navigation
CTRL+B (Open the Organize Favorites dialog box)
CTRL+E (Open the Search bar)
CTRL+F (Start the Find utility)
CTRL+H (Open the History bar)
CTRL+I (Open the Favorites bar)
CTRL+L (Open the Open dialog box)
CTRL+N (Start another instance of the browser with the same Web address)
CTRL+O (Open the Open dialog box, the same as CTRL+L)
CTRL+P (Open the Print dialog box)
CTRL+R (Update the current Web page)
CTRL+W (Close the current window)


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[Senin 7 April 2008] Rp 7 M untuk UN dan UASBN

JOGJA – Dinas Pendidikan DIJ telah menyiapkan anggaran sebesar Rp 7 miliar untuk pelaksanaan ujian nasional (UN) dan ujian akhir sekolah berstandar nasional (UASBN). Di DIJ, UN digelar 22-24 April, sementara UASBN pada 13-15 Mei.
”Untuk pelaksanaan ujian ini, anggaran murni dari pemerintah. Sekolah dan siswa tidak dibebani,” ujar Kepala Bidang Bina Program Dinas Pendidikan DIJ Drs Baskoro Aji akhir pekan kemarin.
Anggaran ini, lanjut Baskoro, diambilkan dari APBD provinsi dan kabupaten di tiap daerah dan sudah mulai didistribusikan ke panitia dan sekolah penyelenggara. Dana ini dibagikan melalui ranting dan cabang dinas di wilayah masing-masing.
Diungkapkan Baskoro, anggaran penyelenggaraan UN dan UASBN tahun ini jauh lebih besar ketimbang tahun lalu. Tahun 2007, anggaran untuk UN sekitar Rp 5,5 miliar. ”Tahun ini lebih besar karena juga sekaligus untuk pelaksanaan UASBN,” tuturnya.
Terkait persiapan pelaksanaan UN, birokrat bertubuh subur ini mengatakan, sudah memasuki tahap akhir. Saat ini, lembar soal dan jawaban sudah jadi dan siap dikirim ke sekolah-sekolah. ”Sudah selesai. Tinggal nanti pas pelaksanaan dikirimkan ke sekolah,” tambahnya.
Untuk mengantisipasi terjadi kekurangan soal, tahun ini jumlah cadangan soal yang dikirim ke sekolah diperbanyak. Yakni lima soal untuk masing-masing model soal. ”Untuk soal ganjil dan genap, kami berikan lima cadangan soal tiap sekolah,” urainya.
Sementara itu beberapa sekolah sudah mulai melakukan persiapan menghadapi UN. Misalnya memberikan latihan soal, pelajaran tambahan hingga try out kepada para siswa. Ada juga sekolah yang mengadakan bimbingan rohani kepada siswa agar lebih siap saat menghadapi UN.
”Semua siswa kelas tiga selama dua hari diminta menginap di sekolah untuk berdoa bersama sebagai persiapan menghadapi UN,” ungkap Zaim, salah satu siswa SMA Muhammadiyah 2 Jogja.
Zaim mengaku, bimbingan rohani itu membuat siswa lebih siap menghadapi UN. ”Jujur, setelah mengikuti bimbingan rohani saya menjadi lebih siap baik segi mental maupun materi,” akunya. (sam)